too many thoughts surrounding death these few days. of how i want my life to be before i die. or even what i want to do before i die. haha. i think in these two years i've ticked off many things on that list of things to do before you die, just that the number of things that i want to do and try before i have die have grown exponentially. haha. so it seems like i'm chasing this line that keeps growing further and further away. but i'm happy chasing it.

and at the same time i don't fear that finishing line. i don't want to die anytime soon, but at the same time.. i don't fear death should it come tmr. like i always say, if meant to be, it will be. haha. its a kind of carefreeness and recklessness i suppose that i've kinda grown into. grins. and i like it.

its quite funny to think about it.. no matter how much you affect others, or the world. when you die, its the same for everyone. everything that you are, packaged into that seemingly small coffin, as opposed to large you lived your life, or how far you reached. your legacy might live on. and videos of you will get played all over the world, your music coming from all radio stations. but still, all that is left of you physically is in that one little box.

but the effect you leave on others, the soul of you and everything you've done lives on in the memories of each others. for aren't the memories of those who have gone, prove to us beyond anything else that that person did exist.

its not how much money you make, or how powerful you are that makes the difference. its how you touch people's hearts and lives. how you were part of others' lives, or how you made their lives better.

its the start of my self declared sabbatical summer. plans for this summer include family, friends, dancing, travels and japanese. these are all things i need to do, want to do and will fight to do. haha.

there are alot more ramblings that i need to get out. but that will take time. when i'm not so tired and sleepy. yawns. nights.